Nervous Horse 1/2015

↑ Al-Azhoh, Abdul. Not Prophet Mohammed Having Sex with Pig. 2015. Glitch on ink on canvas.

A Brief Glance at Things

What can we say about this issue that hasn’t already been said? A lot has happened during its production, but we still have most of our teeth left and are not in prison yet. The human life in its default state is unbelievably static. Think of all the times you could have fallen off a bridge or gotten hit by a bus. By what chance have you managed to avoid the expected outcome every single time? If there is a god, she must be both a puppeteer and a communist.

A few words on the contents of this here issue. We can honestly say it has a couple of quite brilliant pieces in it, but it would be useless to try to hide the fact that many of our most popular writers such as J. K. Giih and U. N. Ture are clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel with such witty but ultimately meaningless attempts as »Portrait of the Liquified Man» and »I Too Should Have Asked My Dentist to Urinate in My Mouth». We would much rather have re-released some of their classic works such as »Bathing Alone» or »I Masturbated All the Way to the Bank», both of which unfortunately have, to our great distress, been forever buried in the darkest depths of the bottomless abyss that is the Internet. If any of our loyal readers happen to have copies of these or similar forgotten works, we would gladly receive them.

For the materialists, on the other hand, good news just keep on coming. Lately we have received numerous requests for Nervous Horse -flavoured T-shirts, which we are glad to announce are now available here and, for the denizens of Europe, here. They are purportedly hand-drawn and machine-printed, a duality which aptly symbolizes individualism as an indispensable prerequisite of fascism. These shirts, available for a limited albeit potentially extended period of time, will be valuable collector’s items by the time we are dead, which could be any moment now.

Incidentally, here is an ancient Chinese haiku:

When the horse panics

or something goes wrong

scroll down for more problems.

Happy New Year

Icarium

Happy Newyear to you all

may the next year 2015 become and even better year.

Lets the portal of new lead us out to a new future,

a senesational new year, only hope can be trule lighted,

by newyears resolution, solution for better private economy, healthyer diet, and loosing weight, becoming slimmer, becoming more human, less instingt. Last year will leave on its wings and fly out to eternity, of memory, GOODBYE 2014, we will never see you again.

Godbye to old, and Welcome the new. Hurarara,

By all thanks to CrowRat corporation, donate in beer.

News

assembled by T. K. Oih

February 28

Gary Glitter denounces homosexuality after volleyball players used multiple personality disorder as cereal-coated donut hole. Fashion Police shot dead for sex offenses against 18-month-old. 3 legs with milk icing reportedly found under bathroom sink in Moscow.

February 15

Police kill unaltered supermodel suspected of developing an electric car. Autopsy results cite free speech as cause of death. Heavy snow circulates online.

January 20

5-year-old in England reportedly billed for missing his friend’s on-stage sex act at punk rock show in California. 3 dead in apparent murder-suicide, »The right team won», police say; US celebrates.

December 13

Psychedelic mushrooms: Gun-wielding officials arrested after allegedly killing and eating Obama’s pet dragon. Elizabeth II touched breastfeeding Mila Kunis, host of gardening TV show confirms.

November 24

Researchers film 12-year-old boy brandishing toy gun after being surrounded by cloud of smoke. Philadelphia rapper on death row fined for dodging media. Rare black seadevil fish dies after being shot by officer. These Army Images Will Make You Cry With Happiness.

November 22

Jerusalem: Students unhappy with school lunch options shot 3. 7-year-old Polish poet finds thousands of weapons hidden in a cartoon teddy bear. Sexy Judge in trouble. ‪#‎ThanksObama‬

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Mind the Gap

Icarium

The Mind, which creates a gap, between, reason and unreason, what is this all about, the gap in our mind between conschious and subconsconschios, is parted in two by the instinct, our instinct is the gap between order and chaos, can we controll it, we believe so, but the thought is we have little to say as most of our doings are sunconchois, often supressed by our rutines, which keeps it in check, so when th sub-way voice tells me »please mind the gap» becouse the wagon is not as wide as the track so there is 10 cm gap between the platform and the wagon, i often get a seperate thought of the meaning of »Mind and Gap» what does that even mean a mind and a gap, a gap in the mind, and the mindfull gap between reason and unreason, the gap between fealings and reasons.

so please Mind the Gap and let the Gap in your Mind not be empty but filled with passion for the longiung hunger of fillings.

Gumption

Dane P. Enniz

A Follicle Of Hair

Isn’t My Sunscreen

But Then Time

Isn’t Your Dildo.

Kitsch as an egg and ham tart

dean

Treading a thin-line,

The avant-guard has become

A passé cut’n’paste pastry.

An ersatz pretender,

Pretending a crumbling throne,

Of salt-dough and patisserie tarte.

The croquet-en-bouche of art

Of style over invention,

Of inconsequence over substance

It turns to the predictable

And the reliably effable

Vanguard of nothing.

The rear-guard of something,

Travelling well-worn routes,

A mountain road that is passable

Is a corniche pastiche

Of the routinely inevitable,

Between kitsch and quiche.

Dog Read

Seth H. Monroe

Most saints from the latter day won’t work on a Saturday.

Instead they sit and chatter about how the Sabbath was blacker back in the day.

It doesn’t matter what they say when they act like entitled slackers.

There’s a set of stairs to Heaven far more safe than any ladder.

But down here things are grossly joyful and the fish are mad as hatters.

They will ride on bicycles until their memories have scattered.

Portrait of the Liquified Man

U. N. Ture

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOIIIIOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOIIOOOOIIOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOIIOOOOOOIIOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOIIOOOOIIOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOIIIIOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOIIOIIOIIOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOIIOOIIOOIIOOOOOOOO

OOOOOIIOOOIIOOOIIOOOOOOO

OOOIIIOOOIIIIOOOIIIOOOOO

OIIIIOOOIIOOIIOOOOIIIIOO

IIIIOOIIIOOOOIIIOOOOIIII

OOIIIIIOOOOOOOOIIIIIIOOO

IIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIII

IIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOII

I Was A Two Headed Cat

Dante Rumph

I was a two headed cat

But then I died

So now I’m dead.

Waiting for the Nurk

Icarium

the Nurk is a small night dwelling creature

whos daily routines, often circles around tired methodical tasks

collecting barn and grass, for its cave.

Long slumbers at winter, waiting for summer, the nurk saves energy and food in hes belly. Waiting for the song birds, to chime in the spring, of april bloom, of tulips and lillys, lion-tooths and Gro-bladders, pollen and the smell of morning dew

waiting for the Nurk.

Bums

Georges Cunningham

Bums on the bus

Don’t braid their hair.

I sometimes lick the bums

They often taste salty

But sometimes like fish.

Seth Monroe

Bad decisions make my teeth hurt, but I’ll be damned if I can think on my feet.

If I Wanted to Wake Up in the Morning

I’d Probably Be at the Monastery by Now

U. N. Ture

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Wandering

Jackson Leathem

Wandering, I found a truth

And I’m wondering if it was always you

You were with me all along

And all I along I think I knew

Faltering, you cried each night

But Fluttering, you led me back to you

I was with you all along

And all along I think you knew

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J. K. Giih

I Need Someone to Talk to

I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me

I Need Advice

I Am Afraid of Rejection

I Need To Get My Mind Off Things

I Am Making The Conscious Decision To Stay Positive

I Fight Depression and Loneliness Everyday

I Am So Alone

I Want To Live A Life Of Wild Adventures And Joy

I Want You To Talk Dirty To Me

I Am Usually a Happy Person

I Adore the Night Time Sky

I Want to Know Ten Things About You

I Aboslutely Love Pizza

I Love Long Sensual French Kissing

I May Be Logged In But I Might Not Be In Front of My Pc

I Feel Like No One Understands Me Sometimes

I Accept My Weirdness

I Am So Confused

Why my head feals like Spongo

Icarium

My head feel like

sponge, plonge

im falling under longe

i need to get up before i

stonge, stonhe in the longe

awhy my head feel like sponge.?

Revolution in Modern Alchemical Thinking

U. N. Ture

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