How to Make the Death Penalty Just

T. K. Oih

Every time I see Americans executing Arabs on the television I am left to wonder why in each and every one of these performances the executioner walks free when by all logic his explicit act of violence should be worthy of the most severe punishment available. The reason is, of course, obvious: if every executioner were condemned to death as other murderers are, there would be no end to the executions, not until every last one of the executioners were executed — which naturally, in the lack of the final executioner, could never happen.

I therefore propose the following improvements to the death penalty:

— Every executioner will be condemned to be executed.

— Every executioner condemned to be executed will be condemned to execute the minimum of 10 (ten) people condemned to be executed before being executed themselves.

These simple amendments will guarantee that:

— Executioners will be justly punished for the executions they perform.

— There will be no shortage of executioners despite them being executed; that is, there will likely remain enough executioners not yet executed to execute everyone condemned to be executed, including those other than executioners.

I have sent these in my opinion relatively solid improvements to be considered by the U.S. government as well as a number of other governments of such developing countries that still have a fancy for executions.