A HAIKU ABOUT WINTER

KEVEN BERK

THE WHOLE WORLD IS DEAD

TIME TO PUT ON MY CORPSE PAINT

SNOW IS GRIM AS FUCK

Kate Buck

Darkness folds,

I only wish for something new.

I cannot but help the night,

it envelops me.

Like an envelope;

I am sealed

without the correct postage

and no stars can touch me

XS Corp

Catch the nothingness in the air as if it were a butterfly landing on your finger.

That finite moment you were separate, and now you have become everything, waiting in anticipation for the butterfly to leave

But it doesn’t

It rests its soul upon you, the everything momentous, breathing and non existent.

I Love You

XS Corp

Your incarnate of vibration is my desire of exchange.

Please lend me your fluids so I may experience your essence.

I drink the cup of you, insatiable indulgence....

Tanner Boyle

You are my Suzy Bannion,

I won’t let you take down

This coven of witches alone.

Not this time.

The sotry of the great Icarium life stealer

Aginor

Of age not known, of herritage not shown, the knowledge of his past, clouded by time. The passage of time only reveals the storys and horrific roumers of 10 upon thousends of life, lost to Icarium life stealer whos rage can be related to the damages of a ravid hurricane. Oooh the amnesia which casued by devestating rage, always keeps Icarium in ignorant bliss of his 10 upon thousend bodys he by hes own hand has slayd, an entire island so has been told, oooh the mystery of and the scare of those who know hes dreadfull past which is kept alive those who tells.

Not Signing This

A wild girl appears

Use crazy glare to make her leave

Super effective

Joel’s Dragon Problem

Ozark Soundscape

One time there was a giant monster in the middle of a building somewhere, and this guy thought that that was a bad thing to happen, so he thought hard for a long time, trying to figure out his course of action. Then it hit him, a baseball bat to be exact, held by the hands of his cousin Wrinkle. Wrinkle hit him a few more times until he was unconscious.

The guy, uh, who I guess I’ll call Joel, woke up in a horse-drawn carriage in a serious state of disrepair. His cousin Wrinkle was in the front. He got up and jumped out on to the road. He ran and ran, making sure the carriage didn’t follow him.

Joel found himself in a city. There, he searched around to find a solution to his problem. Then he found a blacksmith’s shop, and there he bought a sword made of steel. He ran back to the building and entered it.

Inside, he saw the dragon, and he ran at it. The dragon knocked him away and destroyed his sword. Joel ran back to the city. There he found a pack of matches in a gutter. Then, he came up with his plan. So he ran back to the building and lit it on fire. The dragon burned to death.

Car is a vehicle

Aginor

Broom broom it goes

out of the tunnal it shows

oooot ooooot it owls...

Musings

Alison L.

With all the plastic bags in circulation, why would anyone want to purchase garbage bags?

Would a manned mission to Mars be worth the assured cost of human life?

A battleaxe is neither a battle nor an axe, but you really shouldn’t talk about your wife that way.

If Ma Bell and Big Ben had a baby, what would its name be?

I don’t think the people who tried to patch up the crack in the Liberty Bell tried nearly hard enough.

All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares; I feel sad for the rhombus family.

Signs that read »Slow Children At Play» cause me to look for kids who could benefit from some interval training.

If someone says »literally» in her sentence, you can expect them to literally use it wrong.

It is nice having Mondays off, but then Tuesdays suck.

Ozark Soundscape

But what if ducks knew

How so annoying they are

They would hate themselves

Aginor

My brain hurts, auh auh

but im handling it well

its prickling under my skin, its aches, burns

no help, shit, no help

clues are none, shit what to do

but my held high is my head,

not with pride

but my strength

of character

and gravity

A HAIKU ABOUT SPORTS

KEBVKNFEN BRREKEKK

SPORTS WOULD BE BETTER

IF INSTEAD OF THROWING BALLS

THEY KILL EACH OTHER

No mention of a tail of a mouse (this time around)

Jüris H. Smirnoff

I’ve got a mouse with three heads.

I want to POP them.

POP them.

POP!

I’ve got a mouse with (k)no(w) heads.

He’s still more intelligent than you.

So there!

He’s a creationist you know.

That moon (of cheese)...

Yes, he made that.

The Man Who Stopped Eating

Ozark Soundscape

Once upon a time there was a world called fat-world. In fat-world, everybody was fat, because everybody ate a lot. But one day, a man stopped eating, and he began to lose weight.

One of his friends thought he was sick, so he brought his thin friend to the doctor. The doctor didn’t know what was happening, so he brought him to the king.

When the king saw the skinny man, he said »He has lost too much weight, he shall be slaughtered and fed to the pigs in the royal garden»! And he was.

Jüris H. Smirnoff

I must go, my head is about to

explo...

delusional I am;

Don’t fly Pan Am

Or by Flying Teapot

Go(i)ng Go(i)ng gone

Gazeuse!

Jesus F. Christ

I am sitting in an Irish themed pub(not very irishy), in Kelowna. Alone. I am, a mad wolf! But really, I am only a person. A lone person. Alone. Someone needs a lighter, someone dropped something. I am still alone. In an Irish themed pub. In Kelowna.

A HAIKU ABOUT SECULAR CHRISTMAS

KEVEN BERK

FUCK YOUR SHIT MUSIC

I WILL SHOOT OUT ALL YOUR LIGHTS

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCH!

XS Corp

I, is not ‘am’ in it

Only is.

Loquacious Dignity

Georges Cunningham

I blow bubbles

And laugh.

The chicken

does neither.