Skin of the Night —
A Dislocated Scene From ‘The Paper Woman in the Desert’
Rhoul Gazault
Man 1: Hello…how’s the evening?
Man 2: Like the sun setting…its low.
Man 1: Yes…but take a look at that
Man 2: *looks* Oh my…that’s…that’s…
Woman 4: Gasp and guffaw!
Man 1: *takes out whipped cream* if you say so…*begins to gasp and guffaw woman 4*
Man 2: I’m not sure, that counts if you, don’t move up, her, leg.
Man 1: Man Man 2…your commas were really fucked up there.
Man 2: Tell me about it…
Woman 4: Lower…nearer the lizard!
Man 2: Must everything you say be an exclamation?
Woman 4: For sakes! Of course!
Man 2: Bastards…
Man 1: Have you looked yet?
Policeman: What’s all this then?
Man 1: I’m guffawing this nice girl here, and man 2 is looking at that *points*
Policeman: I say…that’s the largest bra I’ve ever seen.
Man 1: And you know what’s inside?
Man 2: Tits?
Policeman: Canned yams?
Woman 4: Penis cheese!
Maid: Pickled feet?
Man 1: All very close…18 metric tons of gaseous titanium.
Policeman: That doesn’t sound very safe.
Woman 4: *orgasms*!
Man 1: There we go.
Man 2: I wonder what would happen if we breathed it in…
Policeman: Well let’s get a few Mexicans…I mean…Jews…I mean…*gun goes off* Ahh! *Policeman is shot*
Woman 4: Ahh! indeed!
Man 1: Oh my…its the rare Jewish Mexican army…we should be blessed to see such an event.
Policeman: The area nowhere near my scrotum! What whores we have on the streets these days…
Whore 1: Why thank you.
Whore 3: I knew we do our job well.
Whore 2: *makes lewd motions*
Whore 5: Oh baby…*starts to make out with whore 2*
Whore 2: This will cost ya…
Whore 5: I don’t care!
Woman 4: Well that’s odd! no!
Man 1: Don’t contradict yourself honey.
Woman: I didn’t! It’s just everything I say is exclaimated!
Man 1: Ahh right.
Policeman: Excuse me! I’m bleeding alot here…
Man 2: Yes…we can see that…
Policeman: Well aren’t you going to do something?
Man 2: Uhh…sure. *pulls down his pants*
Policeman: No…not that.
Man 2: Too late.
Policeman: Sigh…well will anyone get me a bandage?
Woman 4: I have one! *pulls out a chicken*
Policeman: Uhh…that’s raw chicken.
Woman 4: Close enough!
Mexican Jew 1: Anyone want a gun?
Man 1: How much?
Mexican Jew 1: Uhh…17 Jewish pesos.
Man 2: My my…that’s expensive for a weapon used in a murder
Policeman: I’m not dead yet!
Man 2: Oh…well then…I’m definitely not buying it…
Whore 3: I’ll take it. *whips out vagina*
Mexican Jew 1: Thank you for your vaginal coins.
Man 2: Well that’s odd…
Whore 3: Where else do you expect me to keep money in this outfit?
Man 2: …Point taken.
Mexican Jew 2: Now that we are clear of the crime, we will be off!
Policeman: Oh won’t somebody stop them!
Woman 4: That seems like a good idea!
Man 1: We are really on a roll of exclaimed statements here!
Man 2: Why yes we are!
Maid: Oh my!
Woman 4: Keep it going!
Mexican Jew 2: No!
Mexican Jew 1: I’ve just ended it.
Man 2: You bastard…
Man 1: Get him!
Woman 4: Aye! *all run after Mexican Jews 1 & 2 except policeman, whores 2 & 5 and maid. Man 2 falls over his pants*
Policeman: You there…use the gun!
Whore 3: Ahh yes! *gun goes off*
Policeman: Ahh! *Policeman is shot again* not on me you inane fleshy strumpet’s piss!
Whore 3: I don’t like that attitude. *shoots him again*
Man 1: Give me that! *fires*
Mexican Jew 2: Ow! that smarts…
Mexican Jew 1: *falls down* bugger…
Man 1: There we go.
Policeman: They are still escaping…
Man 1: Aye.
Woman 4: I need another guffawing!
Man 1: Sweet Jessicas…*goes in for another* *just then a large title wave comes up from down the street*
Man 2: Wow…those are the biggest titles I’ve ever seen! You could see those miles away…
Man 1: How have we missed them then?
Man 2: Uhh…*takes off legs*
Man 1: What good did that do?
Man 2: Uhh…*takes of genitalia*
Whore 2: Pay up bitch.
Policeman: Look out! *the title wave sweeps through the streets. the policeman is carried away on ‘The Jungle Book’, man 1 on ‘Crime & Punishment’, man 2 on ‘The New York Times Almanac Vol. 27’, woman 4 on ‘The Grapes Of Wrath’, whores 2 & 5 on ‘À La Recherche Du Temps Perdu’, whore 1 on ‘Bert And Ernie Go Shopping’, and whore 3 on ‘The Jungle’* Thank god I didn’t have to speak that!
Man 2: Oh my…i wish I had my legs.
Woman 4: No! my guffawing!
Man 1: Ouchy. *the title wave passes, leaving the street looking like a bowl of alphabet soup*
Policeman: That was intense.
Man 2: Wasn’t it.
Woman 4: Haha! Look! it spells penissoupcardsofhellishgobble!
Man 1:…yes. At least those Mexican Jews have been dealt with.
Policeman: No thanks to you…
Man 1: What? I shot…I think…either way it was better than Whore 3…
Whore 3: What? I thought that’s what he wanted…
Policeman: Yes…I wanted to be shot twice more…
Whore 3: Sounds reasonable to me.
Man 2: *reattaches legs* I wonder if the gaseous titanium was affected with all these letters.
Man 1: That’s what this started out as wasn’t it?
Woman 4: Yes!
Man 1: Oh…I can continue the guffawing.
Woman 4: Yes! *man 1 commences guffawing*
Man 2: Well, someone should go check it out.
Man 1: I nominate policeman.
Policeman: You can’t be serious.
Man 1: Quite in fact.
Whores 1, 3 and 5: I like it.
Policeman: Oh fuck off.
Whore 1: Well duh…that’s what we do.
Woman 4: Oh look! a duck!
Man 2: Well I can’t do it…I don’t have legs.
Policeman: You just reattached them…
Man 2: Did I?
Policeman: Yes…you did.
Whore 2: Still no genitals though…
Man 2: That’s the stuff!
Man 1: Well I’m busy guffawing.
Woman 4: Yes, he’s not going anywhere!
Man 2: How about that maid?
Maid: *covered in “f”s* damn…I thought you all forgot about me.
Man 1: Nope.
Policeman: Go bitch!
Maid: Fine fine…*walks towards bra of titanium*
Man 2: Glad we got that settled.
Man 1: Quite.
Man 2: Where’d that gun go to?
Policeman: Yes…that’s a good question…
Maid: I have it…hahahaha! *fires into crowd*
Man 2: Thank god I didn’t have genitals otherwise they’d be in bad shape…
Policeman: Oww!…Fucking whores!
Whore 3: I didn’t do it this time!
Woman 4: I’m hit! *man 1 covers hole in whipped cream*
Whore 5: Me too! *falls dead*
Whore 2: Nooooooo! That bitch never paid me…
Maid: *climbs inside bra* Wow…this place is great! *her head explodes*
Man 2: Whew…glad that wasn’t me.
Man 1: Quite so.
Whore 1: She did say it was great though.
Woman 4: Yes!
Man 2: Well, if you want to go there, be my guest. *whore one walks off towards bra*
Man 1: There you go madam.
Woman 4: Take me in your arms! No one has ever guffawed me like that before!
Whore 1: Wow…it really is great here! *her head explodes*
Policeman: One down.
Man 2: Where’s my penis gone off too?
Whore 2: *sucking member* Oh…
Man 2: *takes penis back* I’m not paying for that…
Man 1: That bra is interesting. The first one that I’ve seen that makes heads explode.
Policeman: You obviously went to the wrong college.
Man 1: Another whore…go over there.
Whore 1: Aye aye…but it will cost ya.
Man 1: Uhh…sure. *whore 1 walks over*
Man 2: Man these whores are easy.
All surviving whores: Duh!
Woman 4: I get it!
Whore 1: Wow…its really really is great in here! *her head flies off, and hits the policeman, then explodes*
Policeman: Oh fuck…*dies*
Man 1: Well we were really lucky that the policeman was covering what turned out to be a bomb or we’d be in real trouble.
Man 2: Aye.
Woman 4: So who’s next! *just then the duck implodes creating a giant black hole. All are sucked into it, which creates an ironic ending for the whores*
Man 1: *while swirling* that’s unfortunate.
Man 2: Quite.
Man 1: Wasn’t that backwards?
Man 2: Seemed so.
Woman 4: Guffaw me as we die!
Man 1: On it. *takes out the whipped cream bottle. After applying some the bottle is blown away by hole eddies, and in the end, it is the only object to survive the black hole*
Whipped cream: Holy fucking shit! I’m the only one left.
Man 3: Nope…I’m here too.
Whipped cream: What the…how the hell?
Man 3: Temporal anomaly.
Whipped cream: Fuckers.