Siege of the Kingfisher — An Abbreviated Novel
Krenar Deburk
Chapter 1:
Several fat people want to go swimming.

Chapter 2:
All the local public pools have recently been drained and thus are empty.

Chapter 3:
They all commit suicide.

Chapter 4:
A new group of fat people want to go swimming.

Chapter 5:
All their local public pools have been drained.

Chapter 6:
They all commit suicide.

Chapter 7:
A third group of fat people want to go swimming.

Chapter 8:
Their local public pools are filled with tree sap and dead dogs.

Chapter 9:
They swim and afterwards eat at an Italian restaurant.

Chapter 10:
They all go to sleep and the next day want to go swimming again.

Chapter 11:
The local pools are now surrounded by a latex and Teflon fence.

Chapter 12:
They go to the first town’s public swimming facilities and find them still closed.

Chapter 13:
They go to the second town’s public swimming facilities and find them still closed.

Chapter 14:
They all commit suicide.

Chapter 15:
A fourth group of fat people want to go swimming.

Chapter 16:
But they are too fat to move on their own.

Chapter 17:
They continue to exist in a manner than is depressing.

Chapter 18:
The Italian restaurant wants to go swimming.

Chapter 19:
It goes to the local swimming pool which is filled with water.

Chapter 20:
It crushes all the people swimming in the public pool and sends a tsunami like wave out into the surrounding areas.

Chapter 21:
It is very pleased with its day in the sun and water. But then returns to its normal location to prep for the evenings dinner rush.

Chapter 22:
Several days later there is party in the banquet room of the Italian restaurant for all the souls that were killed in this story.

Chapter 23:
The restaurant explodes.

Epilogue:
Three people dance an awkward waltz.