Siege of the Kingfisher — An Abbreviated Novel

Krenar Deburk

 

 

Chapter 1:

 

Several fat people want to go swimming.

 

 

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Chapter 2:

 

All the local public pools have recently been drained and thus are empty.

 

 

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Chapter 3:

 

They all commit suicide.

 

 

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Chapter 4:

 

A new group of fat people want to go swimming.

 

 

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Chapter 5:

 

All their local public pools have been drained.

 

 

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Chapter 6:

 

They all commit suicide.

 

 

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Chapter 7:

 

A third group of fat people want to go swimming.

 

 

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Chapter 8:

 

Their local public pools are filled with tree sap and dead dogs.

 

 

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Chapter 9:

 

They swim and afterwards eat at an Italian restaurant.

 

 

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Chapter 10:

 

They all go to sleep and the next day want to go swimming again.

 

 

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Chapter 11:

 

The local pools are now surrounded by a latex and Teflon fence.

 

 

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Chapter 12:

 

They go to the first town’s public swimming facilities and find them still closed.

 

 

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Chapter 13:

 

They go to the second town’s public swimming facilities and find them still closed.

 

 

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Chapter 14:

 

They all commit suicide.

 

 

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Chapter 15:

 

A fourth group of fat people want to go swimming.

 

 

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Chapter 16:

 

But they are too fat to move on their own.

 

 

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Chapter 17:

 

They continue to exist in a manner than is depressing.

 

 

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Chapter 18:

 

The Italian restaurant wants to go swimming.

 

 

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Chapter 19:

 

It goes to the local swimming pool which is filled with water.

 

 

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Chapter 20:

 

It crushes all the people swimming in the public pool and sends a tsunami like wave out into the surrounding areas.

 

 

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Chapter 21:

 

It is very pleased with its day in the sun and water. But then returns to its normal location to prep for the evenings dinner rush.

 

 

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Chapter 22:

 

Several days later there is party in the banquet room of the Italian restaurant for all the souls that were killed in this story.

 

 

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Chapter 23:

 

The restaurant explodes.

 

 

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Epilogue:

 

Three people dance an awkward waltz.