Crimedog McGruff

Simon Kielczewski



It was not preached to the crowd.

It was not taught by the state.

No man spoke it out loud

When we began to hate....


Sell out your neighbours

for shiny pennies,

When life gives out lemons

some don’t get any.

If dreams don’t exist

then they can’t be broken

When deception is reality

it’s best not to be woken.

Like an extinguished fire

I should have been gone

Life started out good,

but then it turned out wrong....


In this brave and stunning world,

birds are spy drones

owned by lizardfolks,

who feed upon our sin and kin.

Elder beings almost never notice

scuttling ants such as us.

If we tickle Mother Nature too much,

then she is gonna sneeze....again.

It’s going to be a long time

before we do this dance once more

Civilization’s on a loop,

—we’ve done this all before.

Reality’s spinning and I’m feeling sick,

going on down to a progressive city

where the women have dicks

And the men have titties.


We need more protests

More shouts and voices getting loud.

Who cares if our words aren’t true ?

Just say it, claim it, and then pass it to the crowd.

Grinding my axes, acts as an axis

—twisting and then forgetting it’s passage.

This utopian neomarxism has only just begun—

jokes and unironic irony

are the fuel my existence runs on.


My hurt feelings matter more than your facts.